Monday, November 18, 2013

A521.4.3.RB_PALUGODCAROLYN


Communication is only 7 percent about the words that you actually use according to McKay et al. (McKay, Davis, & Fanning, 2009).  The other 38 percent is vocal and 55 percent is body movement.  Therefore, in order to communicate honestly and congruently, you have to make sure that you are using the body movements and vocals (pitch, volume, etc.) that match with the words you are choosing to use or vice versa.  It can be extremely confusing to speak with someone who is telling you one thing but “showing” you another.  A very good example is my mother.  My mother likes to play the role of martyr or damsel in distress.  Over the years my family has learned to understand her conflicting messages, in fact, it is a language that we have come to decipher perfectly. But it still upsets me when I have to go along and play the game.  I feel that she is not respecting me and her lack of sincerity makes me feel that she does not trust me with her real emotions.  Here is a typical conversation with her over the phone:

            Mom: Are you coming over for lunch today?
            Me: Not today mom, I’ve got a lot of things to do.
            Mom: (long pause) oh, what do you have going on? (Emphasis on oh)
            Me: Just a lot of homework.
Mom: (long pause) well…. You know your nephew’s coming, right? (Emphasis on the word right)
            Me: I know, but I just can’t today.
Mom: (tense sigh). Well you know I don’t care (emphasis on the “I”) but you really haven’t seen much of your nephew lately.
Me: Are you upset that I’m not coming?
Mom: Me? (Emphasis on Me said with a higher pitch). Well of course not, you know I don’t give a fig if you come or not, that’s your business (hostile tone).  I just thought you would want to see your nephew (manipulative tone).

Here are a few things I notice in terms of what McKay and colleagues talk about in their book in regards to paralanguage (vocal component of speech such as pitch, articulation, volume, etc.) and metamessages (how we communicate attitudes and feelings through paralanguage and other nonverbal cues) (McKay et al., 2009). When I have these conversations with my mom, where she is trying to have her way, her pitch rises as she pretends to be happy and okay with things.  The overall volume goes up and she tries to present herself as joyful when indeed I can hear the tenseness in her voice, holding back the anger.  And I notice the rhythm in her sentences when emphasizing certain words which give away her real emotions.  Lastly, she uses verbal modifiers such as “just”, “really”, and “well” while accentuating these words which in the end make her sound almost condescending. 

My mother also has many hidden agendas (McKay et al., 2009).  Her favorite combination of hidden agendas are the “I’m helpless, I suffer” and the “I’m tough”.  My mother at her core wants us to be concerned for her and wants the pity and attention but she does not want to ask for it.  She wants people to come to these conclusions on their own without her verbally conveying the message.  For example, if she has a doctor’s appointment and wants someone to go with her, the conversation might go something like this:

Mom: I have a doctor’s appointment today.
            Me: For what? Are you feeling okay?

Mom: Oh yeah, I feel fine it’s just to check my asthma.
Me: Oh, are you having trouble breathing?
Mom: Oh I’m okay now, I just had a slight episode the other day and I wanted to get it checked out.
Me: Well, would you like for me to go with you?  Maybe you shouldn’t drive.
Mom: Oh no, I’m sure I’ll be fine. I always have my inhaler.
Me: Well, maybe I should go with you.
Mom: Oh no, if anything happens, I’m sure I’ll notice it before I have a full fledge attack…

This type of conversation can go on forever.  Instead of just saying “yes” when I first offered to take her, she fights me off until I finally just tell her I’m going with her, end of story.  Her words are telling me “she’s fine”, but her real agenda is telling me that she is vulnerable, scared and wants someone to take care of her.
I began to notice as I got older that I inherited or learned my mother’s communication techniques.  The only difference was that I noticed my own incongruences because I had already noticed them in my mother.  This made me want to change the way I communicated with people because I didn’t want to fall into the same patterns. I knew that my mother’s tactics were negative and manipulative but I also noticed that she got what she wanted most of her life.  It made it easy for me to fall into these same tendencies.  After reading the chapters in Messages I can now not only identify these communicative problems but they now also have a technical name and also a solution. 
I believe I personally use many hidden agendas.  I never realized that this is what they were called.   I knew I used them as a defense mechanism to cover up my self-esteem issues but I didn’t realize to what extent or depth I was using them until I read about them.  Mckay and others explain that hidden agendas “protect you from rejection by creating a desired impression.  Over and over, they help you make a case for your essential value as a person” (McKay et al., 2009, p. 80).  First, I have to make it clear, that I don’t think improving on my paralanguage or identifying incongruences in my metamessages will fix my self-esteem issues.  I think good communication starts first with feeling good about yourself, but that is a whole different story.  I believe I can start to improve on my communication skills by first identifying my hidden agendas which are “I’m helpless, I suffer”, “you’re Good (But I’m Not)” and “I’m Tough”.   I know that last one might seem like a contradiction, but I really am a walking contradiction.  I have a hard time accepting compliments from people and tend to devaluate myself, but I think what I really want to hear is “your great”.  This again is my way of manipulating people into telling me things that I can’t say about myself.  Maybe I feel like its bragging.  In the same manner, I play the tough card when people want to help me, because I don’t want to seem weak, but honestly, I do want people to help me.  Again, I do feel vulnerable, but I don’t want to appear it because I don’t want to come across as a fragile victim but in the same way I feel fragile and weak and therefore end up putting myself down when people find value in me.  The complexity of my self-esteem issues are so deep, sometimes I myself don’t understand what I’m feeling.  But now, by actually having a name for each hidden agenda, it’s easier for me to identify when I’m playing that role, and I can change it.  Once I recognize the pattern, I can dissect my actions and become aware of the nonverbal cues I’m giving out.  Mckay et al. tell us that “as you become aware of your own nonverbal cues, you will discover that your body language provides a wealth of information about your unconscious feelings and attitudes” (McKay et al., 2009, p. 60). I feel that this new understanding of body language works like an emotion detector, letting me know what emotions I am feeling even if I’m not aware of them.  
I can also now use what I’ve learned from our readings in Messages to assist me in my presentations at work.  I have a terrible habit of talking in a standing position in the middle of the room with my hands clasped in front of my face.  I realize that this is also a protection mechanism that somehow separates me from the crowd.  I now understand that I am giving out the wrong messages.  I’m not coming across as someone who is confident and knows what they are talking about.  Instead, I come across as a rigid and insecure individual who has a nervous tic that makes her constantly rub her hands in front of her face.  Seeing myself now in my mind’s eye and the messages I must be sending makes me think how much time I’ve wasted giving these types of presentations with mixed communications.  I think the first step to conquering your demons is identifying the demon and giving it a name.  Once you name the demon, it’s not as frightening anymore and solutions come easy.
 

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