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I completely resonate with Denning’s concept of the interactive mode of leadership (Denning, 2011).  I believe that everything in the universe is connected or as Denning phrases it “the interrelatedness of things in the world” (p. 269).  This idea can also be related to what has been known as the “Butterfly Effect” which basically states that if something as small as a butterfly flaps it’s wings in one part of the world it can cause major change, such as a typhoon, in another part of the world.  I believe that interactive leaders understand this concept.  They understand that effective leaders are conscious of their environment and self-aware.  They understand that everything they do in same way will affect the organization as an entity.  I see the world as the microcosm within the macrocosm meaning that everyone and everything within an organization is working together as one entity or unit.  The new modern leader takes the blinders off and takes in their surroundings and learns to swim in the direction of the current instead of against it.

Denning describes different dimensions of leadership in his book and the importance of being an interactive leader (Denning, 2011).  The interactive leader is participatory in the world.  In this sense, the new leaders work in harmony with the world instead of against it.  Interactive leaders enhance the traditional ways of leadership but they also remove the elements that are obsolete and nonfunctional.  The days of dominate and hierarchal-type behaviors are fading and being replaced by behaviors that reflect integrity, trustworthiness and authenticity.  Interactive leaders use storytelling as a means of resonating with subordinates, peers, leaders and the world around them.  In essence, the new and improved leader is an entity that synergistically moves and interacts with the current instead of just witnessing the world with rigid authority.  The new leader is malleable, flexible, intuitive, creative and dynamic.

The interactive leader also knows how to connect with people.  I feel it’s important to establish a rapport with those who you engage with.  For example, I feel that keeping the idea of “connection” in my mind when giving a presentation will help me be conscious of my audience and their reaction to me.  Instead of being a static figure, I should become a figure that engages with the listener, listens to the audience, and establishes a two-way conversation.  Instead of rattling off my presentation and then waiting for a response, I am slowly relating to my audience instead; watching for cues, responding accordingly to their reactions and providing opportunities for their participation in the relationship.  Denning (2011) explains that when you reach this level of comfort and interaction with people, we enter into a “state of flow or effortless effort” (p. 277). 

One concept of this new modern type of leadership that I think traditional leaders will have the hardest time adopting is the release of the ego.  A leader who functions through ideals propelled by integrity and respect succeeds because they are willing to sacrifice with humility in the name of the mission.  Through the elimination of the ego, you give your enemies no ammo to work against you.  Denning further explains that “by removing ego from the game, you change the nature of the game, since the principal lever of those in the control mode is eliminated” (2011, p. 281).  Instead of working against your enemy, you work with him.  Denning relates this to the martial art Judo, where you are using the same momentum of the opponent against himself.  Never are you using force but instead you act through moral authority.  In this way, instead of pushing your enemy away, you make them your ally by bringing them to your side.  This is definitely an element that I feel can be very useful in a leadership position since you don’t want to waste your energy and efforts fighting against someone when the same energy could be used to teach and show that person the benefits of your perspective.  In the end, everyone wins, no one is humiliated and a resolution is found.

The three dimensions of interactive leadership that I feel are inherent in my leadership style are: working with the world rather than against it, adding and subtracting elements from traditional leadership and the use of integral and authentic practices.

The first two dimensions are complimentary to each other because in order to work alongside the world, you also have to work with it.  I think it’s important to try and fit my leadership style within the mold that already exists, if not, you will just be butting heads with people.  Denning explains that you are not working against the existing forces but instead using that same force to propel your own leadership.  Therefore I think these first two dimensions mentioned would help me make needed changes within an already existing organization that has an established leadership.  The last dimension resonates most with who I am.  I feel that my leadership should be practiced with authenticity and integrity as this is a direct reflection of who I am.  Individuals respond to people who they can trust and are consistent in their actions.  It’s difficult to support and follow someone who does not display congruency in their activities.  In the end, I believe that people will follow a leader that they resonate with and that they feel will respect their ideas and beliefs.   

 

References

Denning, S. (2011). The leader’s guide to storytelling: Mastering the art and discipline of business narrative. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.

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           I have always considered myself to be a social butterfly.  I honestly do not have a natural fear of people and I am not afraid of disclosing information about myself to complete strangers.  My mother has always said that this is one of my flaws.  I am very trusting and oblivious to the evils of the world.  I personally do not think I am so naïve but more so forgiving and open-minded.  I believe that everyone has something to teach us.  Therefore, I enter all relationships with the mindset that I will learn something from that individual.

            I can strike up conversations with anyone.  I’ve been told I can even make friends at a funeral, and that is very true.  I used to live in a very shabby neighborhood in Richmond, Virginia.  There was literally a crack house on my block and vagabonds littered the 7-Eleven at the corner of my street.  I worked nights as a bartender and would arrive home very late.  Most people would say my neighborhood was not very safe, but in all honestly, I think it’s only a matter of perspective.  In my eyes, like it or not, these people were my neighbors.  I always believed the saying “keep your friends close and keep your enemies closer”.  In this aspect, I was always friendly with the bums, junkies and even the stray cats.  I don’t think I was reckless, but I always made a point to always have a kind word to say.  My ease for conversation was not just limited to like-minded peers as I could strike up long and deep conversations even with the homeless gentleman that lived on my street.  And as always, they always had something to teach me.  Therefore, I never steer away from meeting someone or randomly chatting with a stranger.  Once I struck up a thirty minute conversation with a lady in a train station bathroom as she braided her hair.  In that thirty minutes I found out she was a grandmother of 5, raised her children on her own, she was an African-American Muslim and a direct descendant of a member of the black panthers, a black revolutionary socialist  organization active in the United States in the late sixties.  I have to say that was the most interesting thirty minutes of my day.  We ended up exchanging emails.

            I think that my ease for talking to strangers has a lot to do with my upbringing.  My father was in the Navy and we travelled and moved around a lot.  We were hardly ever in the same country for more than 3 or 4 years at a time.  By the time I made a group of friends we were on the move again.  This constant change forced me to learn to make friends quick because I didn’t have much time to lollygag around.  I had to meet people and get settled quickly if I was going to have any sense of stability at our next location.  Also, living in so many different countries has instilled a cultural richness in me that has allowed me to adapt quickly to any environment.  I am able to speak to anyone regardless of culture, language, religion, sex or even sexual orientation.  I am curious about people, not easily offended and willing to learn something new.  When my best friend in grade school asked me if I wanted to go with her to church and be “born again”, I said yes.  When my Hindu friend asked me to go to temple with her, I said yes.  When I played nanny to  the children of a Jewish family and had to learn about separating the meats from the dairy and how to behave in a Bar Mitzvah , I happily did.  In New Orleans I was asked to participate in a voodoo ceremony that honors the dead and I brought my offering and joined in the celebration willingly.  I have always been intrigued by strangers and fearless when it comes to making contact and placing myself into situations where contact is inevitable.

            In the book Messages we learn about guidelines for making contact.  One important thing to consider is body language.  Again, being Spanish, body language is infused in our way of communication.  In our culture we intrude into the spaces of others, even with complete strangers.  Personal spaces are smaller.  We tend to lean in, touch and use eye contact when meeting new people (McKay, Davis, & Fanning, 2009).  It is customary to give two kisses on the cheek when introduced to a new person.  Women exchange kisses when meeting as do women and men.  Although men shake hands with men unless they are good friends and therefore the kisses on the cheek are appropriate.  I also am no stranger to ice breaker as I am used to connecting with strangers.  McKay et al. also mention the use of ritual and informational questions in making contact.  I feel that I dominate the use of both types of questions in my communications with people.  Self-disclosure is another important factor to consider when trying to connect with new people.  McKay et al. identify three stages of self-disclosure which are informational, basic intimacy where you disclose thoughts, needs and feelings about something in the past or future; and a third stage in which you reveal your feelings about the person you are connecting with.  I am quite comfortable in all three stages of self-disclosure. 

            In all honesty, I believe I have become quite the expert in making contacts because my social survival counted on it.  The only lesson I feel I can learn from our reading is the ability to actively listen.  I generally am a very considerate and active listener and like to engage in ways that make the person I am conversing with feel like they are being heard.  But I also have a tendency to zone out during conversations because something they have said has triggered a memory or I am just distracted by something else.  I am somewhat ADHD and therefore easily distracted.  It would be helpful to me to find ways to stay tuned into conversations and keep my mind from wandering.  This is probably my worst flaw when it comes to communication.

            I feel that learning to make contact is essential to living a full life.  Everyone you meet in life, even your family when you first came into this world, is or was a stranger at some point.  Your husband, best friend, employer and school teacher were strangers.  Talking to strangers enriches our life and gives it purpose.  We learn from strangers.  Margo Hannah sums it up best when she says “I like to share my stories as well and sometimes people unknown to me want to hear my stories, but they want to hear it from my lips, not read it in a poem or in a newspaper column. But, mostly they want me to hear their stories” (Hannah, 2012).

References

 

Hannah, M. (2012, October 25). Why talk to strangers. Dawson Creek Daily News, p. A.4.    Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com.ezproxy.libproxy.db.erau.edu/docview/1115407593?accountid=27203

McKay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (2009). Messages: The communications skills book (3rd ed.). Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

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I’d like to tell the story about a little girl who needed a tumor removed and the doctors without the right resources who made the surgery a reality.  This story teaches us about the power of resourcefulness and how we can make anything a reality if we really want it.

In early 2000 I went on a surgical mission with a team of volunteer doctors and nurses to Guatemala City.  This was one of the many trips we had made to this country to perform surgeries on children who did not have nor the access or resources to pay for these kinds of surgeries.  These trips were sponsored by an NGO whose prime goal was to raise funds so less fortunate children could have access to the same treatments as children in the U.S. 

On this particular trip we came across a little girl who needed a tumor removed from her brain.   On arrival, we checked all our equipment and came to realize that we did not have the particular skull drill needed to traverse a skull during these types of surgery.  The clinic that we worked through also did not possess the necessary equipment.  The little girl would probably not live long enough for our next scheduled trip therefore it was essential that we operated on her during this trip.  Failure for my team was never an option.  We were used to working in environments that were unsanitary by U.S. standards and sometimes with archaic equipment.  Many surgical disasters had been fixed last minute using duct tape and plastic tubing.  We were no strangers to innovation when it came to saving children.

This particular day was stressful because you could not “duct tape” yourself out of this situation.  Me being the only Spanish speaker on the team, I was sent on a wild goose chase with our “armed” bodyguard and driver to the neighborhoods of Guatemala to find something that could be used as a skull drill.  I remember the excitement and fear of entering the various “black market” zones hoping to find something that would work.  When we were unable to find the drill through the black market we started visiting auto parts stores and mom and pop hardware shops.  We were in some very shady areas of town, and time was running out.  In a fit of desperation we finally thought of visiting some local orthopedic dentists in the hopes that maybe they would be open to loaning us a bone drill that could be used in its place.  After visiting a few different dentists, we finally met with one who was willing to help us. But now we were faced with another challenge.  The bone drill he had was not electric, but instead an archaic hand-winding version.  A surgery that should only take 3 or 4 hours would now turn into an all-day event.

We rushed back to the clinic with the hand held drill and presented it to the team.  The disappointment was imminent but they were still set on saving this little girls life.  The surgery took over 15 hours to perform.  I later heard the gruesome details of what had to be done.  It was stressful for our medical team but even more so for the child and the parents who waited, agonizing for the results.  

Everything turned out okay that day and we were able to add it to our successes.  Our team has retold this story on future trips we have made and in the hospitals where they work as an example of how they “beat the odds”.  The story has been used to inspire surgeons and nurses who feel like they have hit a brick wall during life and death situations.  Denning explains that “tiny deviations from the norm attract our attention so we can take preventative actions before it’s too late” (Denning, 2011, p. 185).  I believe this story has been used this way in many situations.  This story has been able to catapult groups of nurses into action when they were stuck for a solution.  Denning describes this phenomenon  when he says that “every time we make plans or take action, our choices are based on a mental model or story in the back of our head that leads us to believe that the action being taken will lead to the desired result” (p.191).  In remembering this story, those who experienced it use it to inspire their resourcefulness.  

References

Denning, S. (2011). The leader’s guide to storytelling: Mastering the art and discipline of business narrative. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.

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The best example of my experience with high-performance teams is when I used to travel with a medical team to conduct surgeries in developing countries.  Our teams were formed based on the medical needs of the children that we were helping and the logistical support we needed.  The teams consisted of nurses, surgeons, anesthesiologists, translators, photographers and representatives of the clinics that we visited overseas.  In the course of seven days, we had to evaluate and diagnose as many children as possible and perform surgery on as many possible candidates that we could.  The whole process also had to be documented for fundraising purposes for the organization.  These trips required the use of high-performance teams.

Working as a member of this high-performance team required high levels of shared values.  In this situation, we were very lucky that most of our team comprised of volunteers who had joined the team because they shared in the common vision of the organization, and that was to provide surgery for children in need.  It was very easy to work with everyone in the group, because no matter what our differences or opinions, the unwavering opinion of everyone was that the children and their needed surgeries came first.  Therefore, we were able to resolve our differences very quickly united by this common value.

Denning describes four work patterns of working together (Denning, 2011).  In one particular situation I experienced both positive and negative experiences alike.  I used to belong to this esoteric/spiritual online community.  People from all walks of life and all types of beliefs would come together and share their experiences, thoughts, fears and enlightening moments.  I used to love logging on to this forum and in fact made some very interesting friends.  Generally, I don’t make long term friends from these forums since you don’t really “meet” anyone, but in this particular case I made a few lasting friends who I still keep in touch with until this day.  I think this pattern of working together was very successful in this case because the community was formed by many like-minded individuals.  People were open-minded and hungry to learn from each other.  Also, the community monitor had rules that all members had to abide by which included being respectful to other members, using appropriate language, and things of this nature.  The negative experience from the online community came when a new member joined.  At first everything was great, he had a lot of knowledge and experience to share with the group.  But his communication style was aggressive.  It always seemed like he was on the attack and used sarcasm and put-downs when others did not agree with his opinions (McKay, Davis, & Fanning, 2009).  I believed that this individual was what McKay et al. described as experiencing “criticism as rejection”.  It seemed to be a defense mechanism. 

Eventually, this new member to our peaceful online community became a nuisance.  It became a game of “us” against “him”.  The humorous part of all of it is that he seemed to enjoy being the center of attention, even if it was negative attention.  People wanted him out of the group, but he had not broken the rules to the level to get thrown out, but he was testing his limits.  At first, I too was angry and joined the mob but as I began to get to know this member better, I began to respect him for the knowledge he shared.  He was in terms of esotericism, very highly evolved and this fascinated me.  If I was going to pick his meanie brain, I needed to get over these feelings of anger and offense.  I began dialoguing with this individual.  This time though I entered the discussions with an air of intrigue and genuine desire to listen instead of guarded defensiveness which is how we usually interacted with him.  Whenever his responses seemed hostile or humiliating, I responded assertively to his statements and either agreed with him, agreed in part or agreed in probability (McKay et al., 2009).  I believe that I was able to defuse his hostility because he felt that I was really trying to understand his perspective.  Larry Dressler explains in his video that “the most important influencing skill leaders have is actually their ability to listen deeply and attentively to other people, and to inquire into their perspectives, especially when that person’s perspective is different or conflicting with their own” (Dressler, 2011).   I think his feelings were as Dressler put it “now I’m ready to hear him, because he’s heard me”.  I feel I was able to influence the outcome of this negative experience by helping the others in the group understand this new member and try to see things from his perspective.  Also, once the other members saw the shared bond between me and the “outsider” they were more willing to enter into discussions with him.

In closing, I think that high-performance teams can only succeed if all members have the same common values and are willing to listen to each other and respect and understand the perspectives of the other members.  Also, the assertive-style of communication, in my opinion, is probably the most effective mode of communicating within a high-performance team because it allows you to maintain your beliefs and express your feelings while still respecting and accepting those of your teammates.

References

Denning, S. (2011). The leader’s guide to storytelling: Mastering the art and discipline of business narrative. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.

Dressler, L. []. (2011). The greatest source of influence  [Video file]. Retrieved from http://library.books24x7.com.ezproxy.libproxy.db.erau.edu/toc.aspx?bookid=43097

McKay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (2009). Messages: The communications skills book (3rd ed.). Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

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Communication is only 7 percent about the words that you actually use according to McKay et al. (McKay, Davis, & Fanning, 2009).  The other 38 percent is vocal and 55 percent is body movement.  Therefore, in order to communicate honestly and congruently, you have to make sure that you are using the body movements and vocals (pitch, volume, etc.) that match with the words you are choosing to use or vice versa.  It can be extremely confusing to speak with someone who is telling you one thing but “showing” you another.  A very good example is my mother.  My mother likes to play the role of martyr or damsel in distress.  Over the years my family has learned to understand her conflicting messages, in fact, it is a language that we have come to decipher perfectly. But it still upsets me when I have to go along and play the game.  I feel that she is not respecting me and her lack of sincerity makes me feel that she does not trust me with her real emotions.  Here is a typical conversation with her over the phone:

            Mom: Are you coming over for lunch today?

            Me: Not today mom, I’ve got a lot of things to do.

            Mom: (long pause) oh, what do you have going on? (Emphasis on oh)

            Me: Just a lot of homework.

Mom: (long pause) well…. You know your nephew’s coming, right? (Emphasis on the word right)

            Me: I know, but I just can’t today.

Mom: (tense sigh). Well you know I don’t care (emphasis on the “I”) but you really haven’t seen much of your nephew lately.

Me: Are you upset that I’m not coming?

Mom: Me? (Emphasis on Me said with a higher pitch). Well of course not, you know I don’t give a fig if you come or not, that’s your business (hostile tone).  I just thought you would want to see your nephew (manipulative tone).

Here are a few things I notice in terms of what McKay and colleagues talk about in their book in regards to paralanguage (vocal component of speech such as pitch, articulation, volume, etc.) and metamessages (how we communicate attitudes and feelings through paralanguage and other nonverbal cues) (McKay et al., 2009). When I have these conversations with my mom, where she is trying to have her way, her pitch rises as she pretends to be happy and okay with things.  The overall volume goes up and she tries to present herself as joyful when indeed I can hear the tenseness in her voice, holding back the anger.  And I notice the rhythm in her sentences when emphasizing certain words which give away her real emotions.  Lastly, she uses verbal modifiers such as “just”, “really”, and “well” while accentuating these words which in the end make her sound almost condescending. 

My mother also has many hidden agendas (McKay et al., 2009).  Her favorite combination of hidden agendas are the “I’m helpless, I suffer” and the “I’m tough”.  My mother at her core wants us to be concerned for her and wants the pity and attention but she does not want to ask for it.  She wants people to come to these conclusions on their own without her verbally conveying the message.  For example, if she has a doctor’s appointment and wants someone to go with her, the conversation might go something like this:

Mom: I have a doctor’s appointment today.

            Me: For what? Are you feeling okay?

Mom: Oh yeah, I feel fine it’s just to check my asthma.

Me: Oh, are you having trouble breathing?

Mom: Oh I’m okay now, I just had a slight episode the other day and I wanted to get it checked out.

Me: Well, would you like for me to go with you?  Maybe you shouldn’t drive.

Mom: Oh no, I’m sure I’ll be fine. I always have my inhaler.

Me: Well, maybe I should go with you.

Mom: Oh no, if anything happens, I’m sure I’ll notice it before I have a full fledge attack…

This type of conversation can go on forever.  Instead of just saying “yes” when I first offered to take her, she fights me off until I finally just tell her I’m going with her, end of story.  Her words are telling me “she’s fine”, but her real agenda is telling me that she is vulnerable, scared and wants someone to take care of her.

I began to notice as I got older that I inherited or learned my mother’s communication techniques.  The only difference was that I noticed my own incongruences because I had already noticed them in my mother.  This made me want to change the way I communicated with people because I didn’t want to fall into the same patterns. I knew that my mother’s tactics were negative and manipulative but I also noticed that she got what she wanted most of her life.  It made it easy for me to fall into these same tendencies.  After reading the chapters in Messages I can now not only identify these communicative problems but they now also have a technical name and also a solution. 

I believe I personally use many hidden agendas.  I never realized that this is what they were called.   I knew I used them as a defense mechanism to cover up my self-esteem issues but I didn’t realize to what extent or depth I was using them until I read about them.  Mckay and others explain that hidden agendas “protect you from rejection by creating a desired impression.  Over and over, they help you make a case for your essential value as a person” (McKay et al., 2009, p. 80).  First, I have to make it clear, that I don’t think improving on my paralanguage or identifying incongruences in my metamessages will fix my self-esteem issues.  I think good communication starts first with feeling good about yourself, but that is a whole different story.  I believe I can start to improve on my communication skills by first identifying my hidden agendas which are “I’m helpless, I suffer”, “you’re Good (But I’m Not)” and “I’m Tough”.   I know that last one might seem like a contradiction, but I really am a walking contradiction.  I have a hard time accepting compliments from people and tend to devaluate myself, but I think what I really want to hear is “your great”.  This again is my way of manipulating people into telling me things that I can’t say about myself.  Maybe I feel like its bragging.  In the same manner, I play the tough card when people want to help me, because I don’t want to seem weak, but honestly, I do want people to help me.  Again, I do feel vulnerable, but I don’t want to appear it because I don’t want to come across as a fragile victim but in the same way I feel fragile and weak and therefore end up putting myself down when people find value in me.  The complexity of my self-esteem issues are so deep, sometimes I myself don’t understand what I’m feeling.  But now, by actually having a name for each hidden agenda, it’s easier for me to identify when I’m playing that role, and I can change it.  Once I recognize the pattern, I can dissect my actions and become aware of the nonverbal cues I’m giving out.  Mckay et al. tell us that “as you become aware of your own nonverbal cues, you will discover that your body language provides a wealth of information about your unconscious feelings and attitudes” (McKay et al., 2009, p. 60). I feel that this new understanding of body language works like an emotion detector, letting me know what emotions I am feeling even if I’m not aware of them.  

I can also now use what I’ve learned from our readings in Messages to assist me in my presentations at work.  I have a terrible habit of talking in a standing position in the middle of the room with my hands clasped in front of my face.  I realize that this is also a protection mechanism that somehow separates me from the crowd.  I now understand that I am giving out the wrong messages.  I’m not coming across as someone who is confident and knows what they are talking about.  Instead, I come across as a rigid and insecure individual who has a nervous tic that makes her constantly rub her hands in front of her face.  Seeing myself now in my mind’s eye and the messages I must be sending makes me think how much time I’ve wasted giving these types of presentations with mixed communications.  I think the first step to conquering your demons is identifying the demon and giving it a name.  Once you name the demon, it’s not as frightening anymore and solutions come easy.

 

References

McKay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (2009). Messages: The communications skills book (3rd ed.). Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

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Since I can remember my constant demon in life was low self-confidence.  It is sad to admit that this “personality flaw” has plagued me for the better half of my life and is the foundation from which my current personality has been built.  Some would think that my low-self-confidence should not play a part in the formation of who I am today, but the truth is that it is a key element in how I work with others. 

Before I was born, my mother experienced something no mother should experience.  My brother died of crib death only months after his birth. Two years later I was born, with no obvious memory of this tragedy that my family had faced.  A few years ago my brother, who at the time of my brother’s death was only two years old, disclosed some information which would shed light on why my self-esteem was so affected. 

When I was born, my family, scarred by the past tragedy, smothered me with protection.  My mother took this instinctive need to keep me safe to unhealthy levels.  Needless to say, I grew up fearful of doing things.  This fear for my physical safety manifested into a fear of my future so my mom tried to veer me to lifestyles and careers that were safe such as teaching professions.  She was unsupportive of the dreams I had using manipulation and reverse psychology to cheat me into living her chosen life.  For years I grew up believing that I was unable to do things and became an underachiever in school and throughout most of my young life. In essence, my mom’s plan backfired and I became apathetic about life.  As a young adult I strived for the easy jobs instead of the ones that required any kind of real talents or abilities.  There were a lot of wonderful opportunities that I passed up because the fear of failing outweighed the desire to succeed.  In college I majored in Spanish because it was easy and I knew I wouldn’t fail.  Even after receiving my Bachelor’s I remained in school taking random classes as a way to avoid adult life.  I began working on my Masters in an interdisciplinary program (again to avoid making any major decisions) and got by working multiple waitressing jobs which were jobs that allowed for a comfortable level of mediocrity.

In January of 2000 my life would change.  I began a work study position through my university for a nonprofit called International Hospital for Children.  I would have never even fathomed the idea of working at this type of organization because it required a level of professionalism that I didn’t believe I had.  But, since this was a work-study program for college students, I believed that it would allow me the leeway to be less than average.  They needed someone who spoke Spanish, and this was the only talent I believed I had.

I began my employment with this organization as a simple receptionist.  Because of my Spanish abilities, I was the only one that could relate with the Hispanic families who came to the U.S. for surgery.  Most of these families consisted of mothers and their children from third world countries.  Many had never seen electricity or running water.  As you can imagine, my relationship to these families was intimate and they relied on me not only as their interpreter but as their physical and emotional support.  It was no longer an option to function at below average because now I had these vulnerable people looking to me for direction and assistance.  Without even knowing it, I was forced to step up my game, no longer for myself, but for others.  Through this job and my experience with these families, I started to realize that I was intelligent, resourceful, organized and confident when I wanted to be.  I was no longer the fearful little girl but a strong individual willing to do anything to support these families. 

My organization began to see all these hidden talents and asked me to work as an advocate for the organization and speak to local civic groups as part of our fundraising initiatives.  I had never spoken in public before, but I realized quickly that fueled by a passion that I believed in, I was able to do almost anything.  After only less than a year, our organization sponsored a trip to Guatemala.  The team would include a group of surgeons and nurses to conduct surgeries at a local clinic in a very poor sector of the country.  They needed a liaison and administrator who spoke Spanish to accompany the team.  Having proved myself to be reliable and efficient, my director invited me to go along.  The caveat to accepting this responsibility was that my position would have to change to a full time position and I would have to quit school.  This would be the first trip of many and my duties would increase exponentially meaning that I would not be able to fulfill the duties of this new position and continue school at the same time.  For the first time in my life, I was faced with a challenge that I would finally accept. 

It was easy to give up on myself, but every fiber of my being told me that my true purpose in life was to help other’s reach their fullest potential.  Maybe you can say that I live vicariously through others.  I now understand that it’s not as important what I am, a teacher, lawyer, banker, etc., but who I am.  I am someone who cares deeply for others, makes decisions that are sourced by love, and have a general empathy for all living things.  I discovered that what I thought was low self-confidence was just misguided energy and a not knowing who I am.

Since working for this organization, I have been guided towards jobs that provide services to people.  My work ethic is the product of empathy, respect, consideration, trust and genuine goodwill.  In my relationships with colleagues I demonstrate what Whalen describes as the pillars of credibility (Whalen, 2007).  I am confident in my expertise and I demonstrate trustworthiness and goodwill towards others.  This experience has made me a good team player because I am motivated by a desire to help other’s succeed and this translates well in group settings.  In regards to my earlier self-esteem issues, I learned that this trait did not have to be something that weakened me as a person.  Instead, this trait made me into the considerate and empathetic being that I am today.  My empathetic nature has made me comfortable with self-disclosure improving my relationships with others and with myself (McKay, Davis, & Fanning, 2009).  Through self-disclosure I have an increased self-knowledge that is the source of my innovation and strength as a person.   For example I’ve learned that how I treat others in my  professional environments is a direct result of my previous fear of rejection because it allows me to see from the perspective of others and forces me to consider how others might feel in relation to my acts.  In the end I’ve been able to turn my weaknesses into strengths.

References

McKay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (2009). Messages: The communications skills book (3rd ed.). Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

Whalen, J. D. (2007). The professional communications toolkit. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.

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I really enjoyed hearing Adichie’s talk and she told some very interesting stories but the one thing that was amiss in my opinion was the lack of emotion.  Apart from her words and eye contact, she did not stimulate as much emotion as she could have would she have used her space better.  For one, she stood with her hands on the podium the entire time.  I don’t feel that she was physically engaging with the audience.  I also felt that her presentation was flat, lacking dimension.  Her facial expressions were mute and nonexistent and she told her story in a monotone voice with little inflection.  Her voice lacked emotion.  Whalen explains that “the words you say are less than 10% of the message” and attitude amounts to 90% (Whalen, 2007, p. 15).  Adichie, being a writer, is eloquent in her speaking and provides a language that creates vivid images in my mind when listening to her.  But I am deriving all of my meaning solely from the content of her presentation and nothing through her as the speaker or the physical space she is occupying.  Whalen tells us that communication is something that takes place in the mind of the listeners and the “meaning” that they contrive from your presentation is a culmination of not just your words, but your passion, heart and ideas (2007). This meaning is what impacts the listener and motivates them to buy into what you are saying.  Whalen further explains that “meaning starts in your mind and flows to your body, and then—through symbols of gesture, tone, and expression – to your audience” (2007, p. 20).  Adichie’s body language is not supporting the content of her story. 

 

 In addition to the lack of movement, not just physically, but emotionally, she lacks enthusiasm in her delivery.  There are no spikes of excitement, whether negative or positive that make me move forward in my seat.  Although I cannot deny that I was moved on a different level through her eloquent narrative and impacting examples, there was a sense of complacency and rigidness about her presence.  Part of me believes that as a writer, she is used to delivering her stories to a different type of audience, the absent audience.  As a writer, it is solely through the content of her writing that she can motivate, spark emotion and move her audience since the only sensory activity in this medium is the imagination.

In the structure of her story, I feel Adichie did encompass some of Denning’s main elements of the springboard story (Denning, 2011).  Her change idea clearly was to raise awareness of the dangers of creating a single story about a place or a people and how this limits our world view.  Her examples support her idea and she establishes credibility by presenting herself as the protagonist in a real time and place.  And although at first you believe you might not identify with the protagonist, she easily brings the audience into a comforting peer-like relationship.  She fully embodies her change idea by showing us how the single story limits our perspective of the world and she successfully carries this idea throughout her narrative.  She effectively spells out the alternatives by showing us how much color and depth we are missing from our lives from viewing the world through a single story.  She then shows us how we can change the single story to multiple stories that richly color our world and make it such a wonderful and dynamic place to live and learn.

Although her presence and delivery did not have the power to move me, I was emotionally moved by her eloquent language and ability to create vivid images through her descriptive verbal talent.  In essence, she made up in language what she lacked in physical presence.

References

Denning, S. (2011). The leader’s guide to storytelling: Mastering the art and discipline of business narrative. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.

Whalen, J. D. (2007). The professional communications toolkit. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.

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           My organization as a whole shares the same story with all of its clients and it is the story of an organization that provides opportunities and removes obstacles that ensure that students in every life situation can hold that diploma in their hand.  Our message tells of an organization that is everywhere, that offers flexible environments for learning, and is the longest tried and trusted name in the industry.  They put their name at the top of the pyramid with bold statements that claim that “we are the oldest, largest, and most prestigious university specializing in…”.  Our story promises not only academic quality but the prestige of being associated with us.  We use mottos such as “Education delivered your way; education for the exceptional; the road to success; and the leaders of tomorrow are studying with us today”.  Apart from our logos we use an eagle not only to represent the concept of flight, but also to imprint the concept of freedom, strength, and pride. 

          Within the mother organization we have another organization which provides services for  U.S. military members.  The story that we communicate to these clients is a shared understanding of their sacrifice, hard work and their right to achieve their academic goals.   In the sister campus, our brand promise is that whatever obligations and commitments they have to their country, work, family or bank accounts, there is a guaranteed way for them to complete their degrees.  I believe that the brand narrative of our organization triggers what Whalen calls “felt sense” (Whalen, 2007) because our story is the accumulation of the narrative of many others who have walked the same path.  For example, our military brochure has pull out cards with the names, pictures and biographies of some of our students.  Here is an excerpt from a student from one of the pull out cards:

            “I worried about being in a foreign country when I was supposed to be sitting in a class.  But once I realized that (organization name) really does accommodate the military lifestyle, I felt relieved.  A lot of colleges wouldn’t do that.  There were numerous instances where I was on the road while taking classes”.

             Whalen explains, “the felt sense feeling tells them that what you’re saying is the truth” (2007, p. 10).  So why is this?  It is because you are narrating a real live story of a real live person with the same kind of life experience. 

I believe that our story promotes the goals and ideals of the organization.  I have been to many local and non-local graduations as well as conferences where I have met many of my fellow colleagues, directors, deans, and faculty and I feel that the organization’s common story has permeated the culture of the organization and its employees.  Much of the success of the storytelling is because most of us have direct contact with our students.  We see with our own eyes the parallelism between the story that the organization conveys and the real life characters who are our students.  One of our strongest marketing strategies is telling the stories of the men and women who battled through their life situations to get their degrees.  One of the ongoing marketing research projects that we carry out involves student interviews.  Our marketing group currently visits different campuses worldwide and conducts interviews with the local students.  These interviews are used to collect first hand ‘student stories’ to be used as marketing strategies.  Much of our staff is also either ex-military, dependent, ex-dependent or has been exposed enough to the military culture to empathize with the challenges of this type of lifestyle.  In essence, our organization stands with the students through all their challenges because we as an organization live them too. 

References
Whalen, J. D. (2007). The professional communications toolkit. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.